Season 5X01
by kiwi333
Summary: Just something I wrote when I saw the first episode, really just the way I thought Kensi should have reacted to Deeks in the chair. Let me Know what you think (I own nothing)


**S5XO1**

"Where is Sidorov?" Kensi shouted once again at the Russian girl, as she was being taken to the hospital. Even though Granger was there Kensi felt like she was so alone without Deeks by her side.

"I know nothing." The girl said in a thick accent. Kensi wasn't hearing it though, she took out her gun and aimed it at the girls head. She couldn't help but wonder if her partners was about to meet a similar fate.

"We have to get her to the hospital." The paramedic said to Kensi who was making his job a whole lot harder as she waved her gun at the Russian girl that needed his help.

"Look unless you want this issue of national no world safety to be on your head I would start talking. Trust me when I tell you that when all of this is over and you don't tell me what I want to know you'll regret it." Kensi said, Granger couldn't help but notice the edge in her voice. Part of him knew that he should tell her to back off but all of them were too far into the case to back out now.

"Fine it's an auto repair shop." The Russian girl said along with the address which Kensi told Eric. That's how she found herself just a few steps outside of the location where she prayed that her partner was. Sidorov was out with Quinn so she only had a few seconds to go in.

After kicking in the door, Kensi and Granger swept the room praying that they would find both Sam and Deeks alive. Kensi was the first one o see Deeks tied to the chair. She ran to his side while Granger looked Sam over.

"Deeks...no no no Deeks wake up. Come on open your eyes." Kensi pleaded with her partner, it took her a second to take in all the blood that covered her partner. It seemed like forever passed until Deeks opened his eyes once again. It took him a minute to realize that Kensi really was here.

'God you gotta get me out of here. Please cut me lose please Kens I gotta get out of here" Deeks told Kensi, as much as he wanted out of this hell on Earth he didn't want Kensi here either.

"Deeks you gotta stay here for a little longer but I promise that we'll get you out okay?" Kensi knew that she didn't have much time left but she hated herself already. Her partner needed her, he was in trouble but she couldn't save him she couldn't have his back.

"What's happening?' Deeks knew that something must be going on for his partner to be leaving him. Looking back now it seemed like Kensi was the one always leaving him.

"Listen I don't want to worry I'll be back as soon as I can. You have to stay here just a little while longer." Kensi heart broke as soon as those words left her mouth, the last thing that she wanted was for Deeks to spend another second here.

'Please don't go please Kensi no." Deeks begged of her grabbing her hand even though his were tied to the chair. He didn't think that he could stay here anymore; he didn't think that he could stay strong and keep his cover.

"I have to Deeks, I could get you killed if I stay here you know that. I am right around the corner okay?" Kensi said, before her brain could tell her otherwise she placed a soft kiss to Deeks' lips. She knew that it was painful for him but she had to do it. If this was the last time that she saw her partner Kensi wanted to do everything that she ever wanted to with him.

"Please." Deeks begged one last time, he thought he was dreaming when Kensi kissed him. He knew that was probably the worst kiss that she ever had but to him it was amazing. Even if he was dying and his mouth was full of blood.

"Right around the corner." Kensi said before she let go of Deeks' hand. She had done a lot of hard things in her life but leaving Deeks was by far the hardest in a very long time. It seemed like forever passed before she was able to go back in and see Deeks with the paramedics this time.

"Kens." Deeks called out as the paramedics out him into the back of the ambulance, Sam had just asked him if he gave up Michelle and Deeks wasn't going to lie it did sting.

'Deeks it's gonna be okay, I'm right here." Kensi said going into the back of the ambulance as well. She knew that she still had a job to doubt right now she wasn't the agent but someone who might be losing their best friend.

Once Deeks and Sam were brought into the hospital to be looked at as Granger and Kensi followed close behind them. They were placed in an exam room while a bunch of doctors looked them over. Just as the oral surgeon came to look at Deeks he refused to open his mouth. Just as the doctors were about to sedate him Sam spoke up.

'Give him a minute." That's all Sam was able to say before doctors started to poke at him again. Sam knew that Deeks wasn't trained for this kind of thing so it was likely that the detective wasn't going to handle this experience like a trained agent would.

"Deeks look at me, you have to listen to the doctor. They are trying to help." Kensi came up to Deeks and held onto his hand. She needed Deeks to listen to the doctors, she needed him to be okay after all of this.

"Agent Blye we have to go, we have a job to do." Granger said trying to get Kensi away from Deeks. Everyone knew that there was something between the two of them and if you wanted to get technical about it they were allowed to be with one another because Deeks was still considered a part of LAPD.

"Kensi please don't leave, not again." Deeks told them, he needed someone that he knew, someone that would be there no matter what happened.

"I'll be with you the whole time okay." Kensi said, when in actual fact she was going to stay with Deeks until he was brought up to the OR and then she was going to finishing the case in the hopes that it would be over by the time Deeks wake up.

"Okay." Deeks said as one of the nurses shot him up with a drug that sent him into dream land. As soon as he was out Kensi quickly gave his hand a squeeze and walked out of the room.

The case was finally over, of course Deeks and Sam both broke out of the hospital in order to save Michelle but the team was expecting that to happen at one time or another. Deeks was alone in the bullpen as he started to pack some things up. He wasn't sure if he could do his anymore he wasn't sure who he was anymore. It wasn't until Kensi interrupted him that Deeks stopped packing.

"What are you doing?" Kensi had a general idea about what was going on but she really hoped that she was wrong. Deeks couldn't leave her, not after everything that they've been through.

'I don't know I was stuff packing a few things up I guess." Deeks' voice didn't sound right and they both knew it. It was a little horse from all the screaming he did but the charm he always had in his voice was missing replaced by a shakiness that made Kensi miss the old Deeks.

'Are you going to take that with you?" Kensi asked pointing towards the box that was on the top self in a corner. Deeks had stuck to his word when he said that he wasn't going to move or open the box.

"I'm not sure yet, I just need to get away you know?" Deeks really hoped that Kensi was done asking him question since he wasn't sure that he would be able to keep it all together for too much longer.

"We'll understand if you need time off." Kensi said, she knew that wasn't what Deeks meant when he said he needed to get away but she was afraid if he left that he wasn't coming back.

'Kens I don't think I can do this anymore." Deeks knew that he was breaking all the promises she made him keep. The promises that he would always have her back, he wouldn't leave her like everyone else did.

"Take a vacation I'm sure that will help." Kensi said she couldn't think about doing this ob without Deeks in it anymore, he had become a part of her life and a very large apart at that. After seeing the look on his face after she said that Kensi knew. She knew that he was going to leave or at least he was thinking about it. Kensi being well Kensi she did what she always did, she walk away.

"Kensi! I want you to know that the place I went to get away from all the pain was you. I just thought about you smile, your laugh, everything. You're what got me through it." Deeks told Kensi, he didn't want her to run. It seemed like she was the one that always left when things got serious. He wasn't going to let that happen this time around.

Just as Kensi was about to say something Sam and Callen came in. Sam and Callen started to joke around with Deeks claiming that laughing was a good thing after what he went though. At this point though al Deeks wanted was for the pain to stop, he didn't want to feel anything anymore.

Drinks was a great distraction though, Deeks and Sam couldn't drink any alcohol though seeing that they just got out of the hospital a few hours before. It was early when the team went home all thinking that today was a long day and they needed some rest.

'Can I drive you home?" Kensi asked Deeks, she knew that he was able to drive himself but she just needed for him to be at her side just to make sure that he was really there.

'Kens I'm okay I can drive myself I don't need you." Deeks didn't want his words to come out like that, of course he needed Kensi but his brain was a bit of a mess right now. He just needed to get thing sorted out.

'I know but I need to do this okay?" Kensi told him that was all she needed to say to get Deeks to get into the car with Kensi. The drive to his apartment was full of silence, gone was he usual banter and borderline flirting.

"Well thanks for the ride.' Deeks told Kensi climbing out of the car and up the front steps to the front door. He was about to go in when a dizzy spell hit, the doctor had warned him about his happening within the first few days. Kensi rushed up to his side to help him to stay up right.

"Let's get you inside partner." Kensi said opening up the apartment still helping Deeks inside. She knew that Deeks would do the same thing for her if their roles were reversed. Funny that was the thing Kensi had been thinking about all day, she had wondering so many times way she wasn't the one that was taken instead of Deeks. She had been second guessing herself all day long.

"Thanks Kens, you can go if you want." Deeks didn't want to sound like he was trying to get rid of he but he knew that Kensi probably had better plans than to sit here with him all night.

"Deeks I don't want to leave. How about we talk or watch a movie?" Kensi knew that Deeks probably wanted to be left alone but she wasn't about to turn her back on her partner like she had had. Seeing how that turned out Kensi knew that she needed to know that Deeks was still with her.

"Let's watch a movie, I definitely in the mood for a movie." Deeks told her trying to avoid the topic of talking knowing that Hetty had someone lined up already for him to talk.

"Great." Kensi said turning on her favourite movie. Just as the boat started to sink Kensi found herself leaning against Deeks trying to be as careful as possible around his injuries. Out of nowhere Deeks pulled Kensi into his chest and held her there.

"It's okay, it doesn't hurt too bad." Both of them knew he was lying but Deeks just wanted Kensi close to him. He needed her to be there for him right now even if he was in a great deal of pain. Kensi put her ear to Deeks' chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart and rhythm of his breathing.

'I'm still here Kens." Deeks said catching on to what she was trying to do. Kensi lifted her face up to look Deeks in the eye, as soon as their eyes landed on one another Kensi and Deeks' world broke apart.

"You almost died today." Kensi told him needing to say it out loud for the first time, sure she had thought it a million times today but she had never said it out loud for the fear if she did Deeks would actually die.

"I thought I was going to die today." Deeks said, he knew that wasn't what Kensi wanted him to say but he needed to get it out of his head even if it was just once. Even though he promised Kensi he wouldn't die on her he really thought that today that promise was going to break.

"I'm glad that you didn't." Kensi said, she didn't know what to call Deeks at the moments. Yes he was her partner but they were a lot more than that however they weren't in a relationship.


End file.
